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Family / Home / Husband / Marriage / New Wines / Wife


Genesis 26:8 King James Version

And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah, his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 King James Version

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise, also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise, also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Song of Solomon 4:16 King James Version

16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

Sex is a critical part of marriage and must not be overlooked in any way. It is one of the major issues in marriage, and where it is not properly handled can lead to crisis, most of the time unexpressed. A born-again married man or woman should not engage in anything sexual with somebody else apart from his or her spouse. They should not engage in texting or sharing pictures with any female or male apart from each other, and there should not be an exchange of nude pictures between spouses, not to talk of another person; that is completely wrong. When a man is going on the wrong road and says he knows what he is doing, he has moved into deception.



Sexual interaction is anything that is of sexual nature between two people. Sexual sin is anything that is of sexual nature between two people that are not married. You should not compliment another person of the opposite sex physically. Let your focus and attention be on your spouse. Compliment each other, express it as often as possible. When you do this, you stir up emotional attraction to each other, so sex does not become a mechanical thing but bonding in the correct way.

Hold hands, talk to each other and play with each other like Isaac and Rebecca in Genesis 26:8. Playing with each other should not be reserved for when you are in bed and want sex; be free with your spouse.

There are men that are in adultery emotionally, but they enlist their wife’s support because women are usually innocent and gullible when they are in love.


If you are working outside town, do everything to keep the picture and the image of your spouse in your mind. The deception the devil gives couples that work apart is, “Nothing is going to happen.” It is a lie of the devil; keep yourselves in each other’s thoughts as much as possible. There are 24 hours in the day; out of every hour, give your spouse 10 minutes if you are staying apart. After you have talked with Jesus at six in the morning, discuss with your wife for 10 minutes. What if you don’t have anything to say? You must have something to say: Are you awake? How are you? What did you dream of? Just talk. At seven ‘o’clock, give her another 10 minutes; send a text to tell her what you are doing. It is a deception that distance does not affect love; it does.

You must be more deliberate about bonding with your spouse. For couples that work in different towns and see only on weekends, you have to be more deliberate about creating an atmosphere of togetherness and bonding. The other person is coming home (especially the male), he is under sexual tension, and he comes home looking for sex. The wife is looking for emotional bonding, so it becomes a rape at home. In this regard, the husband has great work to do so that he doesn’t end up leaving the wife frustrated. Marriage is not a license to commit rape; your wife needs some emotional bonding.

Let your colleagues at work know the ringtone you have customized for your wife, and when she calls, they should give you some space and allow you to talk to her. Likewise, talk to your husband; anybody who doesn’t allow you to do that is out to break your marriage.

Talk to each other and carry your wife’s photograph around; put it on your desk or your phone as your wallpaper. Show everybody, including your female colleagues. Don’t hide the fact that you are married; wear your ring very prominently; don’t forget your ring at home whether you are the husband or wife. Don’t let someone else snatch your husband or wife.

Don’t engage in conversations of a sexual nature with someone you are not married to. Don’t do that! If you practice pornography, you are stealing the intimacy that should be between you and your husband or your wife.


There is the labour of intimacy and the reward of intimacy; they are two different things. So you cannot be looking for the reward of intimacy when you don’t do the labour of intimacy.

Making yourself available for Your Spouse is a labour you must always pay attention to. Your spouse needs you, and you must include that in your timetable daily. The wife wants to see that she’s not just relevant in satisfying the husband sexually like a sex machine but that she is truly loved and appreciated by her husband.

If your husband does not care or respect your emotions, always hurting you with his words, though a very wonderful, kind man outside or elsewhere, it is simple, more often than not, the matter has to do with sex; you are not making yourself available for the man sexually. When a man is frowning and angry, and you can’t explain what is getting him angry, it is a sexual matter.

I will advise you to take each other on a weekend when you are doing nothing but enjoying each other sexually. If that one doesn’t change him, then he may need deliverance. Most times, if a nice man is angry at his wife, it is a sexual matter. Most women don’t understand sex as it concerns a man. Delilah put Samson’s head on her lap; where do you put your own husband’s head? Don’t let another girl put your husband’s head on her lap. Your body is a gift to your spouse, be generous even in bed. At every stage of your marriage, plan for sex, be intentional about it and adjust your schedule always to enjoy each other.


“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:25 KJV

Spouses should learn to communicate what they enjoy with each other during sex. There is no shame in expressing yourself to your husband as a wife and the man to his wife.

There is a “how” of before, during and after sex. Couples must master this, which can only be achieved when they communicate well.

Culled from the book Resolving Conflict in Marriage

Written by Reverend Olusola A. Areogun

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